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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Epiphany...

Who says God doesn't meet you where you are at? Well, just now we had a little church while I was folding laundry. Love it that with a little bit of peace and quiet, clarity comes.

You see, I have been going through a grumbly time as of late. Not sure if it is the pollen stuffing up my head, or just the lack of sleep that has gotten me all grumpy but I have just been preoccupied. Kind of mad at myself because I have not lived up to my own expectations - you know that whole Word of the Year thing? Self discipline? Yeah, that one. Ouch. I can't tell you how many times I have felt that I have fallen on that one. Let down friends, let down myself. Sigh... but as we all do, we put on our happy face and keep on going.

Waking up at 5 am just wasn't happening. I was doing it, getting a lot out of it but I wasn't present for my husband who comes home late. I would be dog tired and I wanted to hang for a bit rather than be a lump who occationally would grunt in agreement to his report of the day. I could also tell that I was a tad bit shorter with the kids as I was just t.i.r.e.d. By Friday I just wanted to sleep all weekend and that wasn't helping anyone out!

So back to church of the laundry pile. While doing the monotonous folding motions, it all became clear.

Self-discipline doesn't have to be waking up at 5 am day in, day out. Doesn't have to be driving yourself crazy by performing in ways that are stressing you out in the sake of perfection.

Self-discipline means:

  • cleaning off the bed so my husband can have an uncluttered place to rest his head after a long day at work.
  • hugging my kids more when they need support
  • staying off the computer to be present in my loved ones life
  • stealing quiet moments to rest my mind
  • I had a lot more important ones in my head between the whites and the colors but they are lost now since it is past my bedtime! Main thing, I am living guilt free now! LOL!

But most of all, self-discipline means to listen. To shift, move, be fluid in what God has me to do. Not stress over what I should be doing, but do what He is prompting me to do in that very moment. (the word should , by the way, needs to be banned from every mothers thought life)

And on a lighter note, it is raining and I am sure all of my newfound garden plants are drinking it all in. Can I tell you how much fun it has been to watch my plants grow? The kids all get a kick out of tending our plot and since it is dark out there, I will spare you pictures but maybe in the next few days I will snap a few to share.


Oh, and last but not least, speaking of photos, my ever so talented neighbor took this the other night. Just hanging out on our front porch when the light was absolutely perfect. I love this picture because I feel like Jake's eyes are just pulling me into a deep swim. How I love that boy and so thankful that Anneli caught his sweet disposition.

Now off to go sleep on a clean bed.... Night all!

2 comments:

  1. I love that you wrote about this. It really made me realize that I have expectations of myself that are not necessary and they make me grumpy and short with my family when I don't live up to them.

    You are so right. I just need to do MY best and live guilt free!

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  2. This was such a blessing to me as I began my day. Thank you! -Cara

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